Acid
by prettylittleliars39464
Summary: Hanna hasn't been doing well with her eating disorder, and it's getting worse. Her friends don't know what to do to help her, and are extremely worried for her safety. As things get worse, she shuts out the girls and turns to old friends instead, which worries the other three even more. Meanwhile, the girls all deal with A, and struggle with staying alive. *Trigger Warning* R&R plz
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Hanna P.O.V.

I have to stop doing this. I know I promised Aria that time a year or two ago to stop, but, I just always thought of Alison. She told me it would help. I knew she was wrong, yet I couldn't help but believe her. But this is worse. So much worse. I'm not even eating anymore. I just make myself throw-up for no reason. But I can't find the willpower to stop it. Every time I skip a meal, I hear Ali in my mind, cheering me on. When I throw-up, I hear her say, '_This is going to help even more, darling.' _I hate it, though. The burn of whatever is in your stomach rising up and stinging your throat like acid. But nowadays I don't even have anything in my stomach, so it feels more like in spitting out my intestines.

I close the seat and flush the toilet, falling back against the wall, coughing and crying. I curl up in a ball and close my eyes. I realize I should probably, go though. Aria would be over any second. I sit up, wipe my eyes and brush my teeth. I straighten my hair a little with my hands and touch up my makeup. I look at myself in the mirror a little longer and hate what I see. I'm a lot skinner now, but not as skinny as I Ali. I feel my eyes burn again, and before I know what I'm doing, I'm over the toilet seat again. I taste the acid and feel the burn. I empty my insides even more than before. I've been doing this a lot, lately. Forcing myself to throw-up, even when I haven't eaten in a really long time.

I do the routine again. Flush, brush, straighten, touch-up. I open the bathroom door and I see Aria standing a few feet away, tears in her eyes and a shocked look on her face. I feel my eyes burn again, tears threatening to escape my eyes and cascade down my face. She takes a step forward and pulls me towards her, into a hug. She wraps her arms around my neck and holds me close while we both cry. When she pulls away, she wipes away my tears, and then her own.

"Hanna, why? Just, why do you do this to yourself? You're so, so beautiful. You can't do this," she says to me. I look down at the floor and glance wearily up at her and speak. "Because, whenever I do it, I can hear Ali saying how proud of me she is." She looks at me sympathetically. "But you don't eat anymore. That's so dangerous, Han. Hell, this whole entire thing is!" I nod and look at the floor again. "I'm sorry," I tell her. She hugs me again, and I hold back my tears. It burns my eyes like acid. The acid reminded me of it all, and I wanted to do it again. To throw-up, to be skinnier. I needed it, but if my friends are around, hopefully I won't for a while.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Aria P.O.V.

It hurt me so much to know Hanna was doing this to herself, struggling so much. I wanted to take all her pain away, but I didn't know how. So I just hugged her. Partially for my own purposes, but mostly because I wanted to hold her there so she doesn't run to the bathroom. At around 9:00 p.m., I left. Hanna fell asleep, so I figured she'd be alright. I headed off to Spencer's house. I noticed Emily's car was there, too. I let myself in and made my way up to Spencer's room. I had to tell them about Hanna. That way we would all know to keep her safe, and what's going on. I walked in and saw the two girls on a laptop, singing along to, _'Still into you,' _by Paramore. I laughed and they looked up at me and smiled. I sat of the edge of the bed and looked at them sadly. They immediately turned down the music and looked at me puzzled. I sigh. "We need to talk about Hanna."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

After I told them what happened, and what Hanna has been doing, we all went to her place. We knocked on the door, and after about a minute, she answered. "Hello," she said with her eyes half closed as she opened the door. Emily immediately wrapped her arms around her and let go a couple seconds later. We all went in and decided to just have a sleepover. Most of it included the four of us snuggled up under one big blanket watching 'Evil Dead,' and screaming whenever something creepy happened. We ate popcorn and chips. Well, other than Hanna, who only drank some water.

The next morning after we woke up, we realized that we had today off for some meetings the teachers at school had. We also had the next day off for voting. We figured we'd stay at Hanna's again since she was going to be home alone for the next few days since her mom was out on a business trip. "We should do our homework. I've done… none of it." "I've done all of it," Spencer said. Hanna rolled her eyes in a joking manner. "Of course you have Spencer." We all already came prepared with our work, so we started studying. Hanna just stared blankly at her worksheet, and every now and then a confused look came across her face. I didn't know if her reactions were because of what she's been doing, or if she just really didn't understand. I just guessed option number two, since I didn't understand what we were doing either. But then again, Hanna is in the lower math class, while Spencer, Em and I were in the advanced class.

I scooted closer to her. "Hey," I said. She looked up at me. "I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I looked at her worksheet and examined the problem she was on. I did most of this last marking period, so at least I knew I could help her.

After we all finished our work, which was around four p.m. we sat around the living room watching reruns of 'FRIENDS.' "We should go to the movies," Emily said after we sat in silence for about twenty minutes. We all agreed and started to get ready. We all packed clothes and make-up, so we didn't need to stop home to get anything.

We made our way to the movies and walked up to the board to see what was playing. "Ok, we could either see… um… 'Carrie' or 'Gravity'. Nothing else is playing in our age group for like, three hours." "I already saw Gravity," Spencer said to us. I nodded. "Then we'll just see 'Carrie.' You guys up for more scary movies?" I smirked at Hanna's freaked out expression. "Evil Dead was terrifying! I don't understand how I got through it. Even if it was awesome," she said. Emily laughed. "Don't worry, Han, we'll be right next to you. But if we're going to see 'Carrie,' we have to wait for another hour and a half." I looked at Emily confused, since there was a showing of it in ten minutes. "Um… why?" Spencer asked her. Emily grinned. "Because then we'll be around for the five thirty show. If you see a movie here at any time after five 5 p.m., you get to wear you pajamas here, and you get a free large popcorn." We all smiled at that and left to home.

"Okay, guys, we should probably go now," Spencer said. She was wearing a light pink tank top and short black shorts, which is what she wears to bed. Emily was wearing a long a short sleeve navy blue shirt and sweat pants, which is what she goes to bed in. Hanna wore a long and baggy long sleeve gray shirt, which had sleeves that went a bit past her hands, along with short which you couldn't really see since the shirt went down to her knees. It used to be Caleb's shirt before he left to Ravenswood. I wore an equally as long shirt and sweat pants. We all wore slippers, and took off to the movie theatre.

When we arrived, it was only five minutes before show time. We bought out tickets and got in line for popcorn. We also got one large soda, and some candy. We ran to the theatre we were in, and noticed it was empty. We sat in the middle of the dark theatre, and waited for the lights to dim. When they did, we all shifted closer to each other. We all passed around the soda, taking sips of it and passing it on. We did the same with the popcorn and candy, too. Hanna didn't eat anything, though. She just shared the soda with us. I was starting to get really worried about her.


	2. Chapter 2

Spencer P.O.V.

After the movie was over, I stood up and yawned, stretching my arms and legs as the credits rolled. I looked down to my side and saw the Emily standing and doing the same as us. Then I saw Aria and Hanna wide eyed and looking straight forward in fear, grasping on each other for life in a tight bundle. I smirked and poked Aria's left shoulder and she jumped.

"AHHH! Spencer!? What the hell?!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Come _on_. It wasn't _that_ scary!" Slowly, Aria and Hanna stood up and we left the now lit movie theatre. When we got outside, it was already dark, since it was winter, and it got dark early.

"Okay, guys, so sleepover at my house next week?" I questioned my friends.

"Yeah, sure. I won't be busy then I don't think," I heard Aria reply.

"I'm cool with that," I heard Emily say next.

"Hanna? What about you? Sleepover next week at mine? We are going to yours tonight," I said and turned around to look at her from the passenger seat. She was sitting in the back near a window with Emily next to her. Aria was driving. Hanna was leaning her head on her hand, her elbow on the side next to the window while she glumly glanced out.

She shrugged. "I don't know," she mumbled, and let out a hardly audible sigh. I noticed Emily was looking at her with concern, as was I. I turned back around and noticed Aria glancing at Hanna through the mirror, worry and concern also etched on her face.

What happened? She was so much more enthusiastic at the movies; why was she so down now?

I turned around again and shared a short glance with Emily and Aria. They were probably thinking the same thing as me. I men, would she be okay? With A still out to get all of us, they'll us this against her. That'll only make things worse. A whole LOT worse. Aria sighed and looked back at the road.

A few minutes later, we came to a red light. We sat in the car with no one talking, the only noise was the songs playing continuously from the radio. It was slightly awkward, and Aria tapped her finger lightly on the steering wheel while Emily scratched the back of her neck. I tapped my feet lightly on the ground while I waited for the light to turn green so Aria could hurry up and drive us to Hanna's house. Before it could though, Aria gasped and turned the car and hit the gas and a black SUV came speeding right at us. It hardly missed us.

All four of us were pressing up against the back of our seats and freaked out. There was no question that that was A. But we were more worried when we realized we were the only car on the street for as far as we could see. And A was still in there SUV somewhere behind us.

"Aria," I said turning my head a little, "drive."

With that, the small girl hit the gas and drove us to Han's house. She parked the car and we all dashed into the house.

After some deep breaths, and a few sips of water, I was calm. So were the rest of the girls except Hanna. Except, she looked more sick than scared. Was she scared A followed them and is going to break in now? Or… was it something else. I decided to break the silence though, so it wouldn't get too awkward. "Um, so… new episode of Glee on tonight," I stated. The other girls nodded and smiled a little, except Hanna, who still looked out of it. "So, wanna watch it? It's on in like, an hour. Let's just eat first."

….

25 minutes later, the pizza we ordered arrived. I paid the guy who showed up at the door and took the box in. Aria grabbed some plates and Emily and Hanna flicked through channels on the T.V. Aria threw a paper plate to each of us, and I set the pizza box in the middle of the floor, where we were all sitting with the lights off.

Everyone grabbed a piece or two, including Hanna for once. But when I finished I looked over and realized Hanna had hardly poked her piece.

"Han," I heard Emily start. "Are you gonna eat that?" So she must've caught on, too.

Hanna looked at her and stuck out her plate. "No. I'm good. Here, you can have it."

Emily shook her head and smirked a little. "No, Han, I wasn't asking for your food. I'm not THAT fat, jeez," she said in a joking matter. "I was saying that _you_ _should_ eat it," she explained.

Hanna looked freaked for a second but sank back down again. "No, I'm not gonna eat it. I'm full."

Then Aria interfered. "Full on what, Han, air and water? 'Cus that's all you've had today."

Hanna shrugged and looked at her plate with a small pout on her lips. I scooted closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder. "Listen, Hanna, you should just eat it. It's not healthy to not eat anything." I felt Hanna tensing a little bit.

"Well I ate before you came her," she said back quickly.

I gave her a look she didn't see since she was still looking down. "You aren't a very good liar."

Hanna pulled her shoulder a bit away from my touch and glared at me. "Well I may not have eaten, but I'm not _hungry_."

I shook my head and sighed. "Well one way or another, it's not good if you don't eat."

Aria and Emily nodded and agreed, before we all accidentally spoke at once. "Yeah, Han, it's dangerous,"

"Listen, just have one piece, okay? We just wanna make sure you're alright."

"You have to eat something, or you could get hurt. Just a little bit, okay?"

But it all ended up being a huge jumbled mess of words as we spoke over each other, and Hanna's hands were in fists, and she was silent until she started to yell. "God, can you all just _SHUT UP_!?"

We were all silent for a moment until Hanna took a deep breath, and stood up and walked to the kitchen with her plate. She dumped the pizza in the trash and took out a water bottle and walking back to us, a little calmer now.

Aria, Em and I all shared a few glances, the three of us shocked at Hanna's outburst. For a second when she went to the kitchen, I thought she was going to get a knife and kill us. Then she came back and sat on the couch and looked at us all with regretful and tearful eyes. She took a very shaky breath and started to apologize. "I-I'm sorry guys. I don't know-"

"Hanna don't," I interrupted her. "It's okay. We get it. We love you. We just want you to be okay."

She nodded, shaking her head up and down, and shaking a few tears out, too until she let out a sob and buried her head in her hands and started to cry. The three of us instinctively rushed to her side, and embraced her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and buried my face in the back of her neck, while the other two also held her.

Then Emily started to talk. "So, Glee is on in a minute. Still up to watching it?" The three of u nodded our heads and turned off the last light and all sat scattered across the floor, each with a small blanket and a pillow.

It started into the episode, which turned out to be a re-run we conveniently missed back when it was first aired. But about 5 minutes into the episode, I realized this was NOT a good idea. A lot of this episode was based on Marley's eating disorder… and her 'two finger diet' thing. Shit. This is a trigger, and it was going to get worse. Obviously Emily and Aria realized how bad this was and we shared glances all from across the room. I peaked at Hanna. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was pressed together in a small circle. She looked pale, and I could even tell in the _dark_, and her head was ever so slightly trembling, just like the rest of her body.

I was about to pick the remote a turn off the television, claiming I was tired or something, but before I could even spot the remote, Hanna launched up, her blanket falling off, her pillow falling to the ground in the process. I could see a glint in her eyes and saw she was on the verge of tears. It killed me to know she's been crying so much lately. She usually never cries, but… with everything going on with her lately I knew it was understandable.

She started to apologize again, and started to go up the stairs but I ran after her and signed for the other two to stay put. I delicately grabbed her wrist when she was a few steps up, and she flinched and cringed in pain. We stayed in that position for a moment, too shocked to move. Or at least _I_ was too shocked to move. She stayed with her head turned to the side and her eyes squeezed shut as I very slowly let go of her wrist, and when I did she immediately pulled it the her chest and ran up the stairs.

Now I knew what was going on. Well… not totally, but I knew more. But how is that possible? Hanna… is it really possible that she could- no. I mean, it's true, but I couldn't think about that. Maybe I was wrong about it, though. I slowly made my way up the stairs and opened her bedroom door with a quiet creak. She was in a ball of coverers and clutching- what I've come to known as her favorite stuffed animal- to her chest. She was crying very softly, the tears probably slowing down now.

I approached her bed cautiously and sat next to her, on the side she was facing.

"Hanna?" I said slowly in my softest voice. "Can I see your wrist?" Maybe I could get her to open up.

She looked at me with her and her eyes were full of regret, and sorrow, and fear. But most of all, her eyes were filled with pain, and I felt my heart ache when I saw it, and I felt my own eyes fill with pain, for her, and tears.

"Please," I said lightly again. "Can I see your wrist, Hanna?"

She looked down and slowly pulled her left arm out from under the blanket. She pulled her stuffed anime closer with her other arm, and lightly held her left hand in mine. I held the end of her sleeve and slowly pulled it up, being careful to not be too harsh or forceful and end up hurting her. I tuned her arm over and took in a short and soft gasp. I was right.

On her wrist were several straight, red lines. Some were scars, some were just healing, some scabbing slightly, and some looked brand new. I looked at her and pulled her sleeve back down before taking her right hand in hers now. The same thing was on the other arm, too. Old, new, recent, and medium aged scars and cuts and scratches decorated both arms. Altogether, each wrist and forearm probably had about 20-25 red lines. I looked at Han again with my eyes still filled with tears and pain. I opened my mouth, and before I was able to talk, Hanna cut me off.

"I'm sorry. I- I just. I am."

I closed my eyes to attempt to keep my tears at bay. "Why?" I was scared at how fragile my voice sounded and was unsatisfied with the crack in the one word.

She sighed softly and started again. "I do it every time I… do it, I guess."

I looked at her puzzled.

"I do… this, every time after I do… the other thing."

I nodded in understanding realizing what she meant by this. Every time she threw up- whether she ate before or not, which she hasn't been doing lately- she would… cut, I guess. It broke my heart to know that my best friend was going through this much pain all the time. This much regret, sorrow, fear and pain. But I guess her eye gave it away. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a hug, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and we both silently cried.

…..

**A/N: Please review. Tell me if I should continue this or not please! Also what you would like to see.**


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